Monday, September 26, 2011

Dirk's perspective as donor

Drats! Shucks! a three week lull, hiatus, delay. That is the conclusion for this segment. Elly and I will fly home on Wed - that is the bad news; and we shall return on Oct 13 to finish what we started, that is the good news.

Details. My platelets are still too low, how come? I had a cold three weeks ago (one week before starting the steps in the process of stem cell transplantation). I need a three week spell, rest, normal life for my blood to build itself up. Then we will repeat the process, we'll take up where we left off.

I feel numb and relieved. To think we have to stop, hit like a thud, wham in the pit of the stomach. It made me feel weak, lethargic, silent and solemn. So sad that I have gone into silence, my recourse when overwhelmed.

I am also relieved of being puzzled, past wondering what is wrong. Past questions included 'will the whole process' be in jeopardy? Will Abe not get the gift of life? To have wondered chokes me with unspent tears. Now that is all behind us. Problem diagnosed. A COLD! actually the aftermath of the cold on my blood system. Like a wind storm, a lot of debris apparently has a strong limiting impact. Three weeks and I should be back to normal

I expect that the next three weeks will have relief from travelling the hour drive, thick traffic, stop and go... and spending most of each day in a large, neat, clean hospital; seeing hundreds of people in numerous waiting rooms, many silently holding hands, waiting to be called in for another round of blood drawing, awaiting results and eager to hear good news... and often being disappointed.

No one knows the silent sobs, the  deep anguish behind the stoical, sad, drawn faces - collected in the waiting rooms.

This will go on for the three weeks we are away. Cancer is cantankerous.

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