The harvest has failed. Though my blood has plenty of Stem Cells, the harvesting process could not get them out. The Doctor doubled the stimulant - neupogen - but still the yield much too low. Today he concluded and informed us, that no donation was possible. The harvest has failed, stopped, nothing more can be done.
This is hard, difficult news for Abe; his next move is for the hospital to find a donor from their 'bank' of possible matches. This is possible, realistic, doable .... but it involves more risk of rejection.
I feel horribly disappointed, deeply in the 'dark shadows' of failure of process, not of people, definitely not of a personal failure. But a failure of... blood, process... Actually I do not care .about the details.. the donation that held so much promise, even of life - the donation option is gone, no more hope, no try again. The hospital and doctors did all ... and all was not enough to get enuf cells. That is the way it is. Drats!
So within the good providence of God, we move on with heavy hearts, lead in my step, soon to look up again and see new options, even if only to know we did all we could, and pray of a good outcome for Abe and Lynne. So Monday we fly home, with drooping wings, seeking a better way to help.
I am overwhelmed with the huge investment Elly and I have made; two flights to Houston, nearly five weeks of time, long days of mostly waiting, tense travel in thick traffic and rain. I did get used to I-45 expressway, both ways, in the dark and light, heavy, stopped and light trafic.
And the up and down of hope for good results and numbers too low to keep hope alive. The crush came this afternoon, but the hints rang every time we got another "too-low" numbers, a small crash, leading to the big crumbling today.
I think about it and cry, and cry and cry. I had been so exited to donate. For us, in constrast of some of you, it was not hard. We had been with Abe and Lynne in Houston and Spring, don't mind flying, had the time what with being retired, no other obligations. I felt previleged to be the 'perfect match'. Now the spark of the match is extinguised! So much could have been, and now all we have is memories of a failed harvest!
Yet like every farmer does after some crop failure, we start anew, plant again and again, and pray the Lord of the Harvest to send rain and sunshine, light and dark - in the hope for new growth and refreshed treatment for a wholesome outcome.
And ultimately to believe that no matter the twists and turns, the uprooted trunks, the scorched hillsides, even if fires takes out our homes, life goes on, God is in charge and we rest, surrender and come to inner peace; momentarily, and then comes again the choking on the smoke of disappointment, only to wait the rising of a new day. Thus we proclaim, Great is our Disappointment and Great is Thy Faithfullness.... maybe, no YES!
My brother Dirk sent this out to our family and gave me permission to share it further with the folks who read this blog. It sure has been a roller coaster ride these past several weeks and it will continue for some time to come I suspect. What has struck me deeply is the lengths to which Dirk and Elly have gone to do their part to make this happen. "Not enough stem cells" is not for lack of effort on their part. I do so cherish that and will long remember the gift they have given. In a day or so I will post again. For now their Valiant Effort Deserves Recognition. Thanks again Dirk and Elly. Love you. Abe and Lynne