It is well

"So here we go again.........." That sounds like the beginning of the line I would use when things are going to repeat an old pattern with the same outcome and one that is less , than, that for which I had hoped. It is Monday evening. Dirk and Elly have been at MDA pretty much the whole day. Dirk's blood was good to go for the round of harvest of stem cells. Here's where I get caught. It is my inclination to fast forward and project an outcome based on previous experiences. So the direction in which I go  is to think or expect there will be a low harvest like the last time . It really is a challenge to set expectations aside and to wait for whatever the outcome. There are those who contend that one must be thinking good positive thoughts and have faith, and in the process, you will control the outcome or that you will have swayed the results in your favor. Now I wait. Dirk and Elly wait. Lynne waits. We all want to hear a good report. Yesterday I was surprised to experience, in an ever so split second sort of a way, the feeling that this was to be a good harvest. When I told Isaac he asked, "How did that feel?" I said, "It really felt good." Then it went away. I want to believe longer but it gets mixed up with my unbelief, my expectations. For today, though, I have been content to wait and wait with the security of knowing that whatever comes - it is well with my soul.  Tomorrow we will know for sure what we can not see clearly now.