First Impressions

  I park the car and walk to the elevators. I push button 3. It takes me from the parking ramp to the skywalk over the street below into the main clinic of MDA. I've taken this trek hundreds of times,  hundreds. It's routine. Then I go to elevator B and that takes me to the Stem Cell Transplant Clinic on the 8th floor. But I get ahead of my story. There is a Security Guard Station on the 3rd floor just after you get off the skywalk. As I'm walking I guess I was preoccupied and in the back ground I hear, "Sir." And within a couple of seconds, again, "Sir". Then a third time more loudly and authoritatively, "Sir". I stopped and turned to look at what was going on. Was there a problem behind me or something, but she seemed to be looking at me. "Yes?", I said. She asked, "Where are you going?" I was startled. "Excuse me?", I asked. I wondered if I had absentmindedly gone down the wrong way and I looked up, and no, this was the correct hall. "Where are you going?", she asked again. "To my appointment." "Where's that?", she asked, and added, "I've never seen you before." And I told her I was headed for Stem Cell Transplantation. And after a few exchanges she must have figured I was safe and let me go ahead.

Those of you that know me understand I do not dress up. In fact it has been said I dress down. I also seldom go anywhere without the felt hat Lynne had given me years ago. My picture ID at MDA has me wearing that hat. Today I was not wearing it. When I told, Lisa, the nurse that I had been stopped by Security, she had a good laugh. I figured it was time to spruce up a bit. The next week I had trimmed my beard, Lynne gave me a hair cut, and I wore my hat. Not one more problem with security.

What is funny about this story is that for a second I was startled that someone would see me as perhaps a homeless or some kind of undesirable person. Clothes do make a difference. That same hat can be folded, washed, and just about anything and be put back to shape in a few seconds. And if I fold the sides down or turn the hat sideways I can drop my IQ by appearance, at least 30 points. All this is funny now but for a second I wondered what the security guard saw.

A Strange Place To Give Thanks

I did some thing I have never done, nor ever expected I would. I called a phone number on the back of the rest room stall. No no. Not the, "for a good time call ....". This is the one on the door of all the MDA restroom doors. "If you have soiled yourself or your clothing call ........... for assistance." Some one came with aids for cleaning, a pair of scrubs, and socks. Thank goodness for cell phones. This is but one more way this #&*#@!  cancer and its treatment  takes its toll and the way MDA has anticipated the needs of we the patients. This disease not only takes our health, it also robs us of our dignity.  #$@&*#@@## CANCER. Thanks for MDA.

Ready, Set, Everybody Jump!

We were at my brother's farm and we all went out to the gravel pit for a bonfire. A bunch of us went up on top of the hill above the  gravel pit below where the fire was. We play a game of dare. Who would jump down and go down the gravelly cliff to the bottom, probably 75 feet? We end up all doing it. A few tumbles and rolls and gravel flying and a few bumps and bruises and we made it. But I was much younger then. When I heard last night, that we might go over a physical cliff, I took a few extra pillows to bed because this could hurt. You see, I'm not as nimble any more. Wait, I just saw the news story in print - fiscal cliff? I guess pillows won't be any help for this ride.




                                                             Happy New Year

"I Can DoThat"

Lynne and I were walking across the Skybridge from the Main Bldg. to the May's Clinic. It's about a quarter of a mile long. There are shuttles available or you can walk. We chose to walk this time. Along the wall there are wreaths hanging for decorations, 73 of them, to be exact. Adopt-A-Family Holiday Wreath Auction 2012  at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ea2VYD0czqo was in progress. Each of the wreaths was made by organizations or individuals in the hospital and donated. They were now for sale through silent auction with proceeds going to MDA. We are taking our time and enjoying the wreaths, since my next appointment was some time later and we had time. Then I came upon one wreath that caught my eye. In the center was a water color painting, abstract and very colorful. I called Lynne over and told her that I would like to try something like that, that I could do that. I always thought I would like to try my hand at water colors and having lots of time, why not? Lynne looks at it and then she bursts out laughing. A note on the side of the wreath that I did not read said "This picture was painted by a chimp". I can do that. Well Lynne had to show Isaac when he was there and more laughing. For Christmas, Isaac and Katie gave me a stuffed gorilla and all the stuff I need to start water color painting. I finished my first one, a Christmas card for Lynne. I can do that.

Boring Is Good

As the year draws to a close I am doing well. 2 weeks ago they reduced my tacrolimus and cut out my steroids altogether. Last week they reduced my tacro again (this is a medication to control the immune system so it does not attack the stem cell and vice versa). I have had some problems with this in the past the last time they tried to reduce these medications. So we will watch that one closely. If it begins to happen again they will bring back the steroids. It will be more adjusting and monitoring. The last time I had an infection and was hospitalized was back in Aug. I know that does not seem so long but it is good for me. I spend a lot of time at home and away from crowds to avoid the flu. As the immune suppressors are reduced maybe I will have some resistance to hold at bay any infections. Some of you in your greetings this season have included "good health" for the New Year. Thanks. I do believe my progress, even though it has had its ups and downs, has been how the doctors have wanted it to go, if not even a little better than expectations. It does feel sooo gooood, and I know Lynne and my family are relieved and are thankful. So this is one of those updates based on the labs and reports that are "boring". Isaac reminded me that I need to include that "boring" is a good thing. So boring it is, and boring is good and I will take it.

I'm The Only One Left

The world came to an end this morning and I woke up as ususal. I guess I'm the only one left. I don't see any one else. No, no, wait. My wife's still here too. So it must be just the 2 of us. No, no, wait. Our cats are still here. And I see our neighbor now too. There are his dogs. Soo ....I may have to rethink this.

Changing The Pace

Recently I went back and reread all of my blogs in sequence. It was quite a journey. In that  period of time I rode again the emotional roller coaster of feelings, up and down, from one day to the next. I was surprised at how intense it was. My brother Dirk asked, "Do you talk about anything else besides the cancer?" Quite frankly not much else during this past 2 years. That certainly was true of the blog. And I started the blog for just that reason. It was always my intent to use this as a way to help process my feelings and to help others who were interested in following our journey. Now it has become less of an intense journey and the risks are beginning to diminish. Entries have become less frequent and reports, in Isaac's words, "boring". So in terms of keeping you posted of my progress it will become even less frequent and more carbon copy of last months report, or ditto. I even thought of just shutting it down. That's an option. I have, however, decided to follow another path, at least for a while anyway. I have thought that I might enjoy doing blogs like the previous posting and will experiment with that. I was told by a therapist that I have a rich inner life, (could be code for introvert or recluse). So we'll mix it up and do a little of both.