Learning to live beyond the pain and the disease

On one of the previous blogs I wrote about how I am having to learn to live with pain and that it is an integral part of my life now and will probably be so for the rest of my life. It has become a sobering thought. Another way I am having to come to  terms with my new life  is the leukemia. As an example the other day someone asked me "How are you?". In that millesecond I wondered, did they want the salutatory answer or did they want the real answer and had they heard about the cancer or not. What do I answer. I simply answered, "I'm hanging in there." That seemed neutral enough and if they wanted to know more I would say more. They did not ask. We went on to other matters at hand. It has, though, become common for most conversations to center on the leukemia and how the treatment is going and how I am doing. Leukemia has become an integral part of my life and will continue to be so for the rest of my life. I remember Josh saying he would wake up sometimes and for awhile he would forget he had cancer. It never lasted he said. Even when I get the Stem Cell Transplant and all moves along as it is supposed to I will still be dealing with this disease for the rest of my life, getting tested over and over and over for the rest of my life. So I am learning to live with the pain and with the leukemia.