The New Normal

All through our lives, all of us make adjustments to new things in our lives, from before we even were conscious of making adaptations. It could be just about anything, like a new place to live, an awareness of the seasons, incorporating another sibling into the fold, or a going to school for the first time. We move in and out of these constantly and we adjust for the most part mainly because we must. Sometimes we do it under protest and duress and other times we embrace it with open arms. Some adjustments are pleasant and some are very painful. I am convinced that human beings are the most adaptive of all the creatures on the face of the earth. We can live in so many different environments and cultures and under so many different circumstances and we can adapt.

Last night Lynne and I were talking about how things are now. We have been through a lot and we adapted. and the phrase came up, "The new normal". For now we are home again. It is so different from any thing I had pictured a few years ago. Some of the wrinkles in this new normal are in a constant state of flux with each passing day and that has been our "new normal", the constant change. Routine takes care of a lot of things for us in day to day like. We have not, nor are we likely to have, a predictable routine for the next 6 months. Each day revolves around the treatment of my cancer and the care of the SCT. Even on Easter I had to come to the clinic to have an infusion. We are both getting a little tattered, at times, around the edges. And there are no breaks. There is perhaps a little relaxing of the intensity at times but even that is fragile. Last night I told Lynne I'm not doing very well. She quickly sat up and said, "What's wrong?" with apprehension on her face fearful of a trip to the ER. We've been there before. My not doing well had more to do with something else and I was okay. The "new normal" is fragile and we know it. Being at a constant state of readiness is exhausting on both Lynne and I. CANCER CHANGES EVERYTHING. And we are adapting, some days better than others.