An Update

Still chugging along. Not much has changed in the last couple of weeks except for making adaptations to my life style. I am finding it very difficult to stay inside out of the heat and out of the sun, both of which I must do to avoid the Graft vs Host Disease (GVHD). It has been a long road and now is as critical as any of it. It is hard to stay on top of it. It would be so easy to revert back to doing what I was doing a couple of years ago. I have, at times, been pushing the limits. It has been difficult to face the reality that I can not do that because of the dangers to which I expose  myself. No gardening, no sun exposure, no heat of the day, you name it, no swimming, watch out for dust. There are times I find myself just sleeping a lot. Indoor life is not my style and that's where I find myself. It is hard to hear the part of this diagnosis that this is from here on - not for a few weeks nor a couple of months - this is from now on, FOREVER! That's what is beginning to sink in and it is not feeling very good. CANCER CHANGES EVERYTHING!


I started this several days ago. Since then we have remembered the anniversary of Josh's death on May  22nd. Anna, Ehtan and Kate and Alica(exchange student) , Anna's folks, Dale and Liz, and Lynne and I did make it to Galveston. Isaac, Katie and Llew were not able to make it. It was different without Josh and it always will be. I did take some of his ashes and scattered them in the Gulf. The first year of anniversaries are completed. The pain is still there but it is not as raw or gut- wrenching. It is a matter of keeping one foot in front of the other and keep moving. That could go on for a long time. So this is the day after and getting motivated is not easy. So we chug along.