Thank goodness for that March Madness Saturday, March 19, 2011
68 teams. Several days of almost uninterrupted TV viewing pleasure. I am not entirely sure why my physical condition has degraded to a point that I spend a good portion of my time in a predominately horizontal position on a very soft bed that we have set up in our TV room. But thanks to March Madness my dependence on HGTV to pass time has been greatly lessened. It's amazing that with digital cable and almost 2 billion channels to choose from it can be a challenge to find something interesting to watch.
Back to my physical condition. I am forcing myself to get up and walk more, to move the legs. It causes me great concern when I have difficulty walking up our stairs due to muscle fatigue. I want to say that the evidence of the rash on more forehead, a side effect of the chemo received, means that the chemicals are still pulsating through my veins and having an effect. While I welcome the symptoms if they are attacking the cancer that has invaded my bone marrow. I just don't don't know if that is the case. I need to be very careful not to slide down this physical degradation slope any further. I need to be careful not to give up. My worsening physical condition may come from the cancer winning, but I need to fight. I need to find the spark in me again that says even though I get knocked down I will get back up. The weaker I get the harder that becomes. I must try harder.
Back to my physical condition. I am forcing myself to get up and walk more, to move the legs. It causes me great concern when I have difficulty walking up our stairs due to muscle fatigue. I want to say that the evidence of the rash on more forehead, a side effect of the chemo received, means that the chemicals are still pulsating through my veins and having an effect. While I welcome the symptoms if they are attacking the cancer that has invaded my bone marrow. I just don't don't know if that is the case. I need to be very careful not to slide down this physical degradation slope any further. I need to be careful not to give up. My worsening physical condition may come from the cancer winning, but I need to fight. I need to find the spark in me again that says even though I get knocked down I will get back up. The weaker I get the harder that becomes. I must try harder.
There is more than just my cancer at issue. This disease has a lot of other baggage for me as well. It is still difficult to go to MDA without thinking of Josh and what he went through. There are many times when a year of this gets wearisome. The above is a post that our son, Josh had posted on his blog last March 2011. It will be about a year later that I think I'll be watching a bit of basket ball remembering him and also being horizontal myself while I'm in isolation. |
No comments:
Post a Comment