Waiting and Waiting and Waiting

I'm sitting in the Sundial Area  on the 2nd floor with windows to the main entrance at MDA. It's a common area for people who are waiting, waiting for tests, appointments, results of tests and appointments or whatever. It is a good place to pass time. I wanted to say, it's a good place to kill time while the Cancer kills us. Next to me sits another elderly gentleman. At first he was reading and now he has been sitting motionless just staring at the people down below at the front lobby and the coming and going of the courtesy buses from the different hotels, loading and unloading, people coming and going. All day long people coming and going and waiting. And I am there in the thick of it.

It has been a tough couple of weeks. A good way to sum it up would be to say they ran a set of tests and they all came back negative. Energy Level - Neg.,  Ambition - Neg.,  Appetite - Neg.,  Attitude  -  Neg.,  Patience - Neg. The fact that the sun did not shine much this last week was actually a bright spot since it made it easy to roll over and go back to sleep. It was about the only thing that was enjoyable. I think I could actually sleep 12 to 15 hours out of that Sundial's rotation.

So this is the morass in which I find myself. I feel like I'm waste deep in a swamp with no firm bottom and exhausted from the constant struggle to extract myself from the mire or at best stay afloat. Extracting myself from the mire is about as good a metaphor as I can think of. On the way out of the parking ramp I'm on the 10th floor and I'm behind somebody going so slow, I think a wheel chair could have passed us. Hey, I finally tested positive for something ...anger. For all you analytical types out there can you see where this is headed? I'm guessing there could be a bit of depression going on.

This was started on Wed. Today is Sat. I have since found out that the gentleman I referred to in my blog of June 9, titled, "It Goes With the Territory" has died. He had an infection and then a heart attack. That makes 3 people that I know of that have died following a SCT. I am reminded again that the silver cord in the old hymn is thin.

<< Psalm 69 >> New International Version 1984 1Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. 2I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me.

13But I pray to you, O Lord, in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation. 14Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink;

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