It's Four In The Morning

It's 4 o'clock in the morning. I am sitting in a lawn chair watching over 2 briskets smoking in the pits having my 2nd cup of coffee. It will take about 10 to 12 hours at 225 to 250 degrees. I'm not an expert nor an old timer. Enjoy it  though I do - the process - the wait - and the taste. It's festive. I have been looking forward to doing this for some time now. The fire is just about right now at 250, give or take a tad. Good enough. Not rocket science but good enough. Why would I sit in 50 degree weather tending fire boxes watching meat cook at 4 in the morning? It's cold. It's dark. It's smokey. It's fun and it's tradition. Here's what I'm thinking is happening. I'm beginning to do "bucket list" type things. I'm beginning to look at things like Christmas and the seasons and the visceral feelings that go with them, the leaves turning on not just the trees but on the red oak I planted in the front yard at our old house, and the elm that is growing in the garden area that just showed up and the color is a shade of yellow that I never much cared for, that is until Josh had said he liked that color so I do now as well and the citrus trees Isaac and I planted this spring after last winter's freeze and the savoring and ceremonial eating of the handful of fruit especially the navel orange. I'm beginning to approach things with the notion that I want to savor them and extract out of each and every experience, all that I can. Why? I am going up against a procedure, the Stem Cell Transplant, that can extend my life and in the process of doing that, it can also end it as well. Morbid? Could be. Pessimistic? Maybe. Whatever it is,  it is real. The result. I want to enjoy, to the fullest, those days I am given and savor the flavors the days have to offer. Today the flavor is Texas Brisket. It's not just for today but some will be saved for the time the hospital food needs some enhancement. I"m really, really, really looking forward to that brisket for the present and for the tomorrows I have.