The Bad News and Good News

I am at that spot again that I feel compelled to post again. I am still on the dark side of an upper respiratory system. It developed slowly last week Sunday and progressively became worse and  by Thursday I was becoming exhausted from coughing. On Friday I began to run a temp and by the late afternoon it had reached 101 and higher. So I decided it was time to head for the ER. We did, Isaac and Lynne and I. After blood work, Xrays, and Dr.'s exam, the Dr. came in with 2 scripts and said I could go home. We were stunned. Going home? Not being admitted? No fooling? Yes. They had decided my blood counts were okay and I was far enough out from my transplant that my immune system was stronger now and I should be able to handle this with oral medications. Being sick at home is a new thing and I can do that. The bad part of that is that  Lynne has come down with the  same symptoms and has had a trip to the Dr. and is on antibiotics as well. We are coping. It will be a very quiet remembering of Jesus' birth and we will do it alone, together.


So back to the part of being compelled to post, I feel that when I take a bad turn I do well to post that, to let y'all, who have been concerned about us over all these years, know about it. The upside? I can do this at home now. Thanks be to God.

Riding the Ride

I just finished reading my last post. I was feeling pretty good then. Then and now, what a difference. On the 10 of July I had spiked a fever of 101.4, that is high for someone in my situation and that meant a trip to the ER at MDA and I spent 3 days on IV antibiotics and then 10 days on oral antibiotics. Nothing showed up on any of the blood work and temps dropped by the time I was admitted. I had been doing so well. While in the ER Lynne told them about a sore on the side of my neck that would not heal over, and wanted  dermatology to be called in for a consult, and a biopsy taken. Result? Basal cell carcinoma. I met with a dermatology surgeon  about removing it and he also biopsied another suspicious one and froze another spot on my left hand. I was warned that the process of treating cancer knocks out the immune system and having been on immune suppressing drugs as well I am a prime candidate to become a host for a multitude of , "slings and arrows". Hamlet asks, "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?"
 Oppose? We will. End? It is always a question. The surgeon says the success rate is 99%. Now I know that this cancer is more likely an issue about sun exposure than it is anything else and could be cumulative from a long time ago. It is my propensity for suspicion that this might be a foreshadowing of monsters in the dark, dark room of cancer where I live.
 I have ridden this roller coaster before and I know I will feel again what I did in the last post and I will take the ride.

Hang On Stem Cells

I have repeatedly thought to myself  that I would cease posting on this blog since my health has improved, so much so, that I have become very busy with other things and posting has been low on my list of things to do, on my To Do List. There is are vegetables to harvest, lawn mowers to fix, weed eaters to repair, and grass to cut, and on and on and on. AND THAT IS GOOD! I repeat. THAT IS VERY GOOD! I am doing that well. My energy levels have increased and there has been no reoccurrence of any temps or infections. The time between my appointments with my Dr. is now 3 months and that is in conjunction with my CT scan and bone marrow biopsy which are usually every 3 months and this one is 6 months. I also find that I think about my illness much less and talk about it even less frequently. I am reminded, though,  of my situation every time I take my multiple medications 4 x a day. As Isaac would say, "Better living through chemistry".

Through this all I am  beginning to think differently about myself and realize I have experienced the full wrath that an illness can bring to bear upon a body and that, " the wear and tear" I have experienced  has put a lot of miles on me much like miles on a car. Inside, however, I am okay and the statistics say with CLL the life expectancy is about 7 years. I know those are only stats. Since diagnosis I have lived about 3.5 years. Half my life is over? No, I do not live life that way. Lynne and I have a strong desire to live at least another 25 years, the Lord willing, for some very personal reasons. So stems cells, hang on for a long ride. This is our prayer, O God.

New International Version  Ps. 90:10
Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

The Road I Don't Travel Well

Sometimes there is not much to say about my health except I keep chugging along. I did have a scare about a month ago. I started to have an elevated temperature and after monitoring for about 2 hours it did go up to 101 , and that is "Head for the ER" time. My first reaction was frustration and anger. "Come on now. Is this going to happen for the rest of my life?" I'm not sure to whom  I was addressing that question. It's one of those questions I ask when I know the correct answer and I would rather live in denial, that I am normal now and I can handle these things. It's just a temperature, even babies handle slight elevations. After a couple of days in the hospital, nothing showed up in any of the tests to explain why this happened. My atrial fibrillation started to act up and that became more of an issue. When that happens we usually increase the metoprolol. That medication not only slows the heart but also decreases blood pressure. Mine was low and protocol for the staff is that they cannot give me my meds. Finally someone authorized changing the numbers and I get the meds and the heart rate goes back to normal. The cardiologist recommended a new medication and it, however, did not work very well so I am back on the meds I had before with a slight increase.

Isaac was there when I asked the rhetorical question and he reminded me of the patient who had been visiting family. She was 7 years post transplant and yet, here she was in the hospital. They thought she picked up something in a salad bar at a restaurant. And there was the man who had developed an infection in the face and they had to do surgery to try and remove it. I do so hope that is my last trip to the ER. I find it hard to say, "It won't be".  Anger has subsided and I have moved more to acceptance. I certainly am not there yet as I experienced one more time "the rush to the ER".

Slowly but surely I grieve the loss of health and move to accepting who I am now. I'm not there yet but I see the road ahead of me.

A Housing Glut

In the world of birds for some of them there seems to be an abundance of nesting possibilities at least for those that like to live in those holes in the trees. After the draught took a huge toll on the pine trees in our area over the last few years there are a lot of dead trees that are still standing. The woodpeckers have a veritable smorgasbord of grubs and bugs and have left behind plenty of holes in their pantry of trees and the birds like starlings, bluebirds, owls, woodpeckers and the list goes on and according to one source, 85  different species nest in the cavities of these dead trees throughout the country. These trees are often seen as unsightly and a fire hazard and are cut down as soon as possible in both forested and urban areas. And then we say to ourselves, "Ah, that's better.". I have enjoyed the extra bird traffic this year because of these dead trees that we have and perhaps the upside of the draught will be more habitats for our fine feathered friends

The Cycles of Things

We have sprung into spring and although that may be a hard sell to some folks up north, the calendar says it usually comes about now, give or take a week or so. For us in the Gulf Coast, it is here, complete with the pollen clouding the air.

The last few weeks I have been feeling the urge to get out and get going and that is the seasonal part of my cycle in the past. I have been feeling well and energy level was good. I felt that this was a definite improvement over last year. I had just celebrated my 2nd anniversary of the Stem Cell Transplant. This was great. Then last Saturday I began to have a fever and it was high 90's at first and then just over 100 and up to 101 at a point. We have been instructed that I go to MDA emergency immediately if it reaches 100.4. Dang it. So we head down and by 4 am I am in a hospital bed, with antibiotics and fluids. It was also a time that my afib starts up so I am hooked up with a monitor as well. By Monday morning some of the results come in and there are no infections and I also get a consult with a cardiologist and they said we could try another medication to control the afib. Isaac was downtown and waited the hours that it took to my discharge.

It was a excellent example that I must be aware that I am always at risk for a flair up of some kind or another. They found nothing and that is good. One time they had discharged me and as we were leaving the parking lot they called me back to say something had shown up and I needed to stay a little longer.

In the mean time Isaac said I had become dehydrated and also lost weight. I had not noticed. So some new challenges still lie ahead. I am at home and I still feel well and it has been a good week. Today I work on the garden. It will be good therapy. Thanks Lynne and Isaac, left to myself I may not have gone in and intellectually I know that can be dangerous and life threatening. Thanks again.

I'm 2 Years Old Today

So today, Lynne and I, along with Isaac and Katie, sat down and broke bread together on the occasion of the 2 year anniversary of my Stem Cell Transplant. My sincere gratitude and thanks go out again, to Brian Re, my donor. I will forever remember him and each year the gift is more treasured. Thanks again Brian. This past week I have felt fantastic and each month I feel stronger. I thank God for all these wonderful gifts.

"He Descended Into Hell" Yours And Mine - I Gotta Have It

"I believe in......." and on and on we went, all with one voice, the congregation did, as we stated our faith with the words of The Apostle's Creed.  We knew it by heart, we did. Just in case some one did not it was printed out for them or if you were a little uncertain you could follow the words. As we are professing our faith I'm looking at the floor, what else can you do with your eyes anyway and I find it is a good way for me to focus on the verbal. "Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary: Suffered under Pontius Pilate; was crucified, dead and buried. The third day............ ... "Wait a minute. Back up there a second. You missed a part, that part about, he descended into hell." I know, I know, some of the early transcripts do not have this or did not include, the descending into hell. So some Churches do not include it. I know all that. What I experienced was that something was missing and it came so suddenly that my first reaction was, "I have to have that. He had to descend in the depths of hell, the hell of suffering and pain, the hell that the righteous and the unrighteous both endure, especially the righteous who intuitively have seen their righteousness as a, 'Get out of jail free' card. How can he know my or anyone else's suffering?"

  A psalm of David. Psalm 22

¹ My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me,
    so far from my cries of anguish?
² My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
    by night, but I find no rest.^[b]  

     

 

New International Version (NIV) Matt. 27:45&46

The Death of Jesus

⁴⁵ From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. ⁴⁶ About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,^[a] lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).


Yes acquainted with all the slings and arrows that flesh is heir to as Mr. Shakespeare would say.

Cross references:

1. Matthew 27:45 : 27:45-56pp — Mk 15:33-41; Lk 23:44-49; Jn 19:29-30
2. Matthew 27:45 : Am 8:9
3. Matthew 27:46 : Ps 22:1

 

 

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Today

—Rev. Thomas A. Dorsey

Take My Hand, Precious Lord

Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, let me stand
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn
Thru the storm, thru the night, lead me on the light
Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.

When my way grows drear, precious Lord, linger near
When my life almost gone
Hear my cry, hear my call, hold my hand lest I fall
Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.

When the darkness appears and the night draws near
And the day is past and gone
At the river I stand, guide my feet, hold my hand
Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.


     The choir was singing this hymn with all the emotion that a choir can. They harmonized, they swayed, they lent their own feelings to the lyrics and to the melody. It truly was beautiful. It was as though everyone was acquainted with the metaphors of death and dying. It was powerful.
     All through the hymn I flashed to some of the times that I had felt those feelings, that part about, I am tired, I am weak, I am worn, especially most recently in the last 3 years, but they are not the same any more. I am no longer tired or weak or worn maybe a bit on the worn side but not in the sense of "at the river I stand". And it struck me - that is no longer me. Oh how far I have come. Oh sure, life will never be like it was, healthwise. I can't do what I used to do and "I ain't half the man I used to be". And yet it is not a cause for feeling bitter or cheated, although I have courted those inclinations at times. It was, instead a wonderful feeling of being whole, of being healed.
     As I write this I am at MDA for a CT scan and a bone marrow biopsy, usually done every 3 months, now at 6 months. I will also see Dr. Khouri and it has been about 8 weeks since I have seen him and it was usually every 2 to 3 weeks. I have more energy and overall recovering well.  There is much, so very much, for which I am thankful.

The Slippery Slope

My health is good. There is nothing that is creeping in except........ and that is always the clincher. It seems like every ache and pain is the next catastrophic threat, in my mind, coming down the tube at  me. It's official now. I'm paranoid and a hypochondriac with tendencies to illusions and vivid imaginings. A twitch in the eye, an ache in the thumb, a chill in a toe, a sneeze. Why any one of these could be my impending doom. Slowly I talk myself off that slope. I shrug my shoulders and say to myself, "silly me".

Sometimes there are too many stories out there of folks having bad outcomes. Isaac said, "You and Google. A dangerous pair." I was told early on, to stay off Google and then also told, an informed patient is a better.....Wait, back up. That's it. That word patient. It speaks volumes. Every day, all day, I am a patient. When I get up in the morning I move my hands, then my fingers, especially my thumbs. Has the neuropathy moved further? I do the same with my feet. I check my throat. Is there any soreness? Mucous? Any fever? That itch? GVHD? Even as I write this, my right eye is watering and the vision is a little blurry. I did have indications of cataracts beginning, according to the ophthalmologist. Maybe it is changing. I stopped just now to massage my right thumb to relieve the numbness of the neuropathy. I had 13 appointments for Oct. and Nov. They are still poking and prodding and medicating and testing and boring into bones and spinning the CTs and MRIs peering inward where eyes have never gone before, to get a better look. These are sharp things, loud things, distasteful things, embarrassing things. For almost every appointment, they ask me to remove my clothing. Really? I have a theory about that. It is so you won't run away when they come at you with their poking and prodding and boring and spinning and such. I'm not a normal person anymore. Lynne says I never was.

 They are watching and looking for anomalies, bad things, dangerous things in order to intercept and remedy. Seriously though, they really are good and well intended people and I mean them no disrespect. They are my friends. The truth be known? I tire of being a patient and walking slippery slopes and losing my balance and afraid of sliding aaaalllllll the way down. After awhile I get to, "Silly me".

Christmas 2013

Christmas Day, a celebration of a birth.
Christmas is here and it is now over. It has been been excellent. We are in Washington with our son, Chris and wife, Denise, and their families. We have spent  time with our grand kids here and certainly eaten abundantly. It is our first major trip since the transplant and we had to navigate the coughs and sneezes of airports and airlines. So far, so good. Tomorrow, Denise and Chris, and Lynne and I will get to meet my stem cell donor, Brian Re and his wife Shannon. Since April I have looked forward to this day, a day when I would see Brian face to face and be able to thank him for his gift to me and I know, to my family as well. I have been wondering what to say to him. How do you thank someone for the gift of new life? All is set to meet them at a restaurant in downtown Tacoma, thanks to Denise. So who are they, what are they like, will it be a good and comfortable get together, so many things.

The Day and every day after, a celebration of new birth for me.
It went fantastic. They are a younger couple,(relative to us) with 3 teenage children. Shannon is a pediatric nurse at a clinic with aspirations of becoming a nurse practitioner. Brian, my donor, is a lieutenant in the navy and in charge of the refitting of the nuclear submarine, the USS Kentucky. It was good visit and the flow of conversation was so enjoyable as we broke bread and drank wine and celebrated the gift of new life As the evening drew to a close Brian gave me a medallion of the USS Kentucky, something I will cherish forever. Thanks again Brian. On the way home, Lynne said, "You have good blood".

You Are Not A Burden

"You are not a burden". The soldier had just come back from active duty and had been pretty badly traumatized. PTSD had been suggested and getting back into mainstream society was not going well. The counselor caring for him, first put his arm on the soldier's shoulder, then gently but firmly spoke a phrase, "You are not a burden". I did not hear much of anything of the show for awhile. Those words continued to resonate down inside of me. What a powerful statement, "You are not a burden". I flashed back to different times in my life when those words have been music to my soul. I have heard it often enough to sustain life. What a gift.

New International Version 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

 

Make It Stop

Those of you who study books and learn from scribe and scroll
Will find rich fodder buried deep within the wounded soul.
Drink deep my friends from hearts inked black, as black as chunks of coal.
Now feel the ache that tears their gut, and doesn't let them sleep.                                      Without  a  break, the mind will spin as stomach acids seep.
Drink from their cup, and break their bread, and then behold their eyes.    
Hear with your gaze, see with your ears, the soul that bleeds and cries.
Then stay. Now dwell, 'til storm has passed, abiding close while floods do flash.
Torrential pain, and broken heart, it feels like all will  crash.
Hold faith and tarry still to exorcise the wound's cold icy grasp.
Then linger still as tempest churns, and cleanse the wounds and salve the burns.
And now my friend you are a friend and are forever touched,
By another heart as souls do meet, an another story clutched.










                              

The Whole Story

Twice a week, the 7 of us would gather in the library room, around the table, with our 2 supervisors, one at each end. This was called interpersonal group process (IPG). This was an opportunity for any one of us to bring up issues with which we would like to deal. It could be about  anything and we would invite feed back from the other students as well as the supervisors. The goal was to give each of us space and guidance for growth. Sometimes it was personal growth, sometimes it was interpersonal growth and sometimes it was to feed back on new things in our lives.

Let me back up. This was part of the Clinical Pastoral Education Process, a further training for Chaplaincy and to help us look at personal growth issues. In our group the way it worked was that we would all come in and have a seat and at 10 it would begin. The thing was, there were no rules as to how to start. If anyone had something to bring up they would ask for the time and they would go ahead. There were times it became nurturing and other times it could become very confrontational, by the supervisors or by the other students. There were very few opportunities to hide from things we needed to hear.

I recall one session in particular we came in and sat down and no one said anything. It was quiet and no one volunteered to raise any issues. This happened a couple of times after that. So one time after about 15 minutes of silence one supervisor observed that we had difficulty functioning unless there was something wrong with us or some one else in  the group. We had come to be so accustomed to dealing with problems and sick patients it was all there was. No problems then no conversation. He sited some stats about how many of our patients actually go home, improved.

I bring this up because I have come to see myself doing that. I do want to learn to talk about other things again besides my illness. My brother, Dirk, asked me one time if we talked about other things besides Leukemia. I told him, "No, not really".  That seems to be somewhat true for my Blog. If there are tests and things like that I write a blog about them. It is time to expand the conversation.

It Is Mostly Good

It is Wednesday and I had an appointment with the rheumatologist, Dr. Tayar, as a follow up and with the idea he would give me steroid shots in the shoulders to help with the pain again. It has been about 5 months and he had said I could get another shot if I needed one since the other one had been so effective. I brought him up to date on the neurologist, Dr. Loghin, and the EMG and the MRI she had ordered. So far there is nothing in those tests but neuropathy in both forearms and in the hands, mostly in the thumbs with carpal tunnel in both wrists. There is evidence of mild to moderate reduction in the sensory and motor function in the arms and hands and some evidence of a bulging discs at C-5 and C-6, but not enough to explain my symptoms. She has ordered more blood work and so we wait for the results of those. It was Dr. Tayar who recommended that I needed to see a rheumatologist in the first place for the tendinitis. After reading those reports he did an ultra sound of my left shoulder, the one that was the worst. It showed the tear, the same as the last time and perhaps a bit "brittle" at the edges. That was cause for concern and he started to speculate on what to do next. Steroids could increase the brittleness and maybe he should refer me to a surgeon. He decided it would be best to get a better look at things and that meant a MRI of the shoulder. Steroids might have an adverse affect on the images on the MRI. So the MRI  is on the schedule for Friday at 8:00 pm or anytime after that until they get everyone done. The last time it was about 10:30 before I got out of there. Out of all these tests there has been no, I repeat, NO SIGN OR TALK OF ADDITIONAL CANCERS. That's the "Good News". I was thinking last night that there was no big sigh of relief or release. I wondered, "Why not"? The answer that came to me, "There are more tests to go". Who knows? I am, however, more convinced now that there is no cancer there. All of these other problems are severely debilitating but that is the topic for another blog.

Three Steps Forward Two Back

It started last summer and at first blush it did not seem to be a big thing. Dr. Khouri had ordered an x-ray of my shoulders and there was evidence of arthritis in both shoulders. I was then referred to  rheumatology. Dr. Tayar recommended steroid shots and physical therapy. The steroid shots brought a great deal of relief and lasted about 5 months. It felt good and the physical therapy helped with the range of motion of my arms and shoulders. However, one of the exercises that the therapist used would cause a burning on the underside of my forearm. This is the "However" part of that sentence; the burning has continued and in the last 6 to 8 weeks it has increased and is bilateral and has moved down to the hands and more specifically to the thumbs. The bilateral part suggests somewhere in the neck the nerves are having a problem. So as I write this I am in the neurologist office for the first of three tests today, a electromyography (EMG), an x-ray of my left elbow, and an MRI of the c-spine.

So what goes through your mind? Any speculations? Well here's what we do. By we, I mean cancer patients. We think the worst. That's what we do. After all, we are cancer patients. We have already had cancer. We have had to come to terms with that "C" word before. No amount of denial, no amount of yelling, "Run the tests again. There must be mistake", will change the results. We have had to look this one in the eye before. And even if they say, " it's in remission", deep down inside we have a hunch it's still lurking in there somewhere. Remission never seems to have a forever ring to it. That's what goes through my mind. We are cancer patients. That's where I live. That "damned C" ended our son's life, has threatened mine, and could it now be back for the "knock out punch"? O how  the mind races down a road from "0" to "C" in 1 second flat. I have been practicing in my mind, the suspension of all my imaginings until we know for sure. That helps some.

Since I started this post this morning I have had my EMG. The Dr., running the test, speculated about the possible reasons for the mild to moderate diminished motor and sensory functions that showed up in both arms and hands. Nothing there on which to hang my hat though, but it could be as simple as an autoimmune inflammation of the nerves and now that I am no longer on the immune suppression meds it could reverse itself as my own immune systems gets stronger, or it could mean a round of steroids. It was good to hear. The MRI this afternoon should help fill in some more of the picture and we will probably not know anything on that until next week.

So we wait and wait and wait. And I go back and forth and back and forth (and you can add however many of the forths  and backs you wish). I could, at one time, go into denial but not anymore. The other night when I was feeling particularly low, Lynne and I talked about the possibility of another cancer. I wondered out loud, "Can I do this again?". And from deep inside I found myself saying out loud, "I think I can.". So knowing that, no matter what tomorrow holds, we know the One who holds it.

Really, Three Years?

Some folks have been wondering how I am, health wise. For the last 6 to 8 months I have been into the Dr.'s office every 2 weeks and the main indicator of progress is the blood test results and how I feel. Both of these are in the right direction and progress is measured by the month and not days. I have had a long battle with graft vs host disease (GVHD) right from the beginning while I was in the first days following the transplant. The donor's new cells and my old cells did not get along. They both see each other as foreign and therefore to be rejected, (actually a wonderful part of our amazing body's immune system). So immune suppressing drugs, like tacrolimus and steroids help with that. I have been able to be weaned from the steroids for awhile now but the tacro has been another story. I had been on 8 mg a day and gradually stepped down to .5 mg 2 times a week over a period of I year and 9 months because I would have symptoms of chronic GVHD, that the donor cells where still viewing my body as a foreign threat. LAST WEDNESDAY DR. KHOURI SAID WE CAN STOP THE TACRO. Will I be safe? We will have to watch for symptoms like, itching and usually on the legs in exactly the same places, sores in the mouth, nausea and vomiting, and just about any other things that are not part of the norm. The great part of all of this is that after about 3 years, from diagnosis to now, I can begin to have a healthy immune system. That's right 3 years and I am so thankful to be here, in the here and now. Thanks be to God!
 New International Version 2Peter 3:8
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

Age Versus Age

On the side of the road stood a cool old car
Nothing but beauty, a red shining star.
'49 Chevys will surely turn heads,
No matter what shape, no matter what reds.

I thought for a minute and I had to smile.
I'll match that Chevy every mile for mile.
I'm a '47 been around  a bit longer,
But the looks for the Chevy, a tad bit fonder.

"Time Marches On"

So I'm down at MDA today, a follow up with the cardiologist with whom I became connected when I was a patient in the hospital after the SCT and I had a bout of Afib that didn't want to stop for awhile. I'm hoping this will be my last visit with him, since there hasn't been a repeat of that and the metoprolol seeems to be doing the job. I have had this issue for a few years before the CLL and was able to live with it. I shoud be able to do that again especially with the medicine.

At my last visit with Dr. Khouri they saw some evidence of GVHD again so they raised my Tacro again instead of being able to discontinue it. It's the 3 forward, 2 back experience and Isaac is willing to wager a lot, that if I stayed inside more and out of the sun and heat I'd be much further along. Over the past 2 weeks I have done better and we will see next Wednesday if it is working or as Isaac would say "that it is working".

There has been a major shift on another front for me. I'm beginning to see other things besides Cancer lately. Dirk had once asked me if we talked or thought about other things besides the leukemia. I had told him, no. Well, that's beginning to change. I'm not able to forget about it but the thoughts are not as weighty or as frequent.

Those of you in the "Van Sligtenhorst clan", I want to give you "a holler and send y'all our love and greetings" at the family reunion. We have fond memories of our time at the last one we attended and have intentions of making another one, maybe next year. The last time was a great reconnecting for us and much has changed since then and will continue to as well, so time to do this. Well that brings us up to date and we will be in touch.

Time Marches On Lyrics

       Song by Tracy Lawrence

Sister cries out from her baby bed
Brother runs in, feathers on his head
Mama's in her room learnin' how to sew
Daddy's drinkin' beer, listenin' to the radio

Hank Williams sings "Kaw Liga" and "Dear John"
And time marches on, time marches on

Sisters usin' rouge and clear complexion soap
Brothers wearin' beads and he smokes a lot of dope
Mama is depressed, barely makes a sound
Daddy's got a girlfriend in another town

Bob Dylan sings "Like A Rolling Stone"
And time marches on, time marches on

The south moves north, the north moves south
A star is born, a star burns out
The only thing that stays the same
Is everything changes, everything changes

Sister calls herself a sexy grandma
Brothers on a diet for high cholesterol
Mamma's out of touch with reality
Daddy's in the ground beneath a maple tree

As the angels sing an old Hank Williams song
Time marches on, time marches on
Time marches on, time marches on
Time marches on, time marches on

Songwriters
BRADDOCK, BOBBY

Maybe a bit dark and sometimes they are.

Memoria

'Pagó̱sei sto chróno'. " Frozen in time". That's the way it happens. We will not know what Josh would have been like at 41 or 45. He is frozen forever in time in our minds and to me he has not aged a day since his illness and his death. When I recall his look of pain, it is unchanging. When I picture his smile it is forever the same. I have often tried to imagine what it would be like to see him age with us, to grow older together, and to share the stories of that journey. Try as I might I cannot. Each time I try, he is forevermore the same. "Frozen in Time", 'Pagó̱sei sto chróno'. In the Greek there are 2 words for time, 'chronos', which would be chronological time, and kairos, which would be "In God's moment" or time.  Chronologically  in my mind Josh is frozen in 'chronos'. In God's time? Who can fathom what he has become?



New International Version (©2011)
But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 2 Peter 3:8